It’s that time of the year again. Christmas decorations are hung across campus, and Christmas music blares through the campus speakers. But there’s an ongoing debate among Northwestern students that happens every time the Christmas season approaches: When should we start listening to Christmas music?
Throughout the halls on campus, the echoes of such a fiery debate spring up with each November building into December. Well, I am here to bring an end to this divisive conundrum.
A naïve observer would say that Christmas music should just be played in the month of December because, “that’s when Christmas is.” Such an argument is clearly not made by a true Christmas music expert. Likewise, those who say that you can listen to Christmas music all year round is also just as mad as the aforementioned observer.
Now you’re probably asking yourself, who does this guy think he is to be an expert on Christmas music? Well, first I’d like you to know I wholeheartedly want to hear you refute my intricate scientific inquiry. But if you must know my credentials, I have been studying Christmas and Christmas music for 21 years now, giving me plenty of room to speak on the subject.
Let’s start with December. It goes without saying that Christmas music can be listened to at this time. This we can all agree on. However, we need to examine the two months around December.
How about January? The start of the new year and a month that does not have much for music. Can anyone really name any song that is specifically for New Year’s Day and is commonly known, aside from “Auld Lang Syne”? No, so it only makes sense people would still be listening to Christmas music at this time.
Nonetheless, this is not for the whole month. I would argue that only the first two weeks of January are permittable times to listen to Christmas music.
Typically, it’s around this time people begin taking down their Christmas decorations, and Christmas music, which gets you in the Christmas spirit, is not something you want to be in while taking down your decorations. It must be said that those who leave their decorations up year-round do not get an excuse to play Christmas music all year.
Now that January is addressed, we have the fiercely contested month of November. This is the month of Thanksgiving, which is the most overshadowed holiday since Flag Day.
I mean, what do people typically do when they have time off for Thanksgiving aside from eating turkey? They set up their Christmas decorations, sometimes even earlier than that! Not to mention that Thanksgiving songs don’t exist, and no, I will not accept Puritan music from the 1600s as a solid response to that.
So, most people are left with Christmas music, but most people don’t set up their Christmas decorations until at the earliest, two weeks before December. For those reasons it makes sense that they are allowed to listen to Christmas music at this time.
Now you are probably saying that we have finally solved the Christmas music debate once and for all and you would be right, but I dare to go one step further.
I propose what I call the Santa Clause, which is a loophole for those who wish to listen to Christmas music outside the designated time. If there is an incredibly snowy day or you are somewhere where you get a sense of Christmas nostalgia, you are allowed to listen to Christmas music. Finally, the question of when to play Christmas music has been answered, and NW can rest easy.