Roses are wilting. Pink paper hearts are torn. All the good chocolates have been eaten out of the boxes. The Heart of Heemstra barbershop quartet has one heck of a communal sore throat. And we are all wondering, “Why do we put ourselves through this, year after year? Why gear up for the letdown?” Yes, Northwestern, Valentine’s Day is over.
The love, however, has not ended. In a brainstorming session of what we might possibly do to extend the joy of Valentine’s Day throughout the year, we’ve come to the realization that NW has already grasped and put into continual practice Valentine’s Day traditions that go back centuries.
For instance, back in the day, February 14 was a rather exciting day for Roman males. On this day, Roman women wrote messages on slips of paper which were then placed in an urn. The men drew names at random and were then free to ardently pursue their lucky lady.
Okay, so perhaps we don’t have a lottery here at NW. But the recent SAC-sponsored Compatibility Quest is similar. (In fact, SAC improved the Roman process by offering a dollar off ballroom dance tickets for the random quest-inspired romances.)
Medieval tradition had it that February 14 was the day birds began to mate. Well, there don’t seem to be too many birds around, but we can’t help noticing those frisky squirrels and ever-multiplying fruitflies?
And how about that naked cupid? Hello…Heemstra. They may not carry bows and arrows, but they’re fully-armed with Frisbees. Most girls would rather be disc-kissed than shot with an arrow anyway.
And why do we call Valentine’s Day Valentine’s Day? It’s all about a dead guy. Which dead guy, nobody is really sure. The Catholic Church hasn’t quite figured out which of three saints named Valentine was the instigator of this romantic holiday, but the point is, whoever he was, he was martyred. But according to legends, before his death he sent a note to a young woman signed, “From your Valentine.”
While we would urge love-sick students not to take such drastic measures as martyrdom, we would like to point out that Saint Valentine was executed because of his faith. What implications this might have for our distinctly Christian liberal arts college, we can’t quite say. And we certainly don’t wish to witness any gladiotor v.Christian duals out on the campus green, but it can’t be denied that perhaps our campus has succombed to the romance of death through the annual Wild West Shoot-out each fall.
And finally, this same Saint Valentine purportedly performed secret marriages for young lovers during a time in which the Emperor Claudius II outlawed marriage for young soldiers.
Secret marriages on campus? Well, we’d tell you all about it. But it’s a secret.
Thus, it seems campus successfully retains the spirit of Valentine’s Day throughout the year, and we can confidently answer the Black-eyed Peas when they ask, “Where is the Love?” Northwestern.
