For as long as I can remember, I was a science buff. Specifically, I was a genetics buff. I remember doodling DNA molecules in my sketchbooks purely because the structure was pretty, and I would not just doodle the double helix. I would draw out the geometrical structures of each base, which helped me for my biology exam this year, along with the phosphate backbones. I remembered the base pairings by heart. The patterns attracted me, and it was amazing how only four basic nucleotides could build the complexity we call life. It was the thrill of discovering patterns and analyzing data. Numbers were a godsend for me, and math was my haven. If I could make this article about my love for science and math, I would write way past the word limit.
The problem with loving a pattern is hating when there lacks one. Unlike Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, there is not a mathematical equation for the solution to life. Is there a solution to life? I believe so, and as a scientist, I want to find that solution. That leads me to this next question: What is that solution? I believe that it is finding your faith. You see, when I accepted and found my faith in Jesus Christ after years of rejecting it, I no longer found myself researching for days on end. I no longer pull college calculus problems to solve off the Internet when I am stressed. Most importantly, I no longer found my purpose in worldly pleasures.
Every time I found God, I found a new pattern. You might expect me to say my life started improving but that was the total opposite. My life would get worse. Every time I told Jesus I was ready to be saved, something in my life, whether my fault or not, tore me away. When I was pregnant, I could not go out as much. I found myself researching various things, primarily black holes. The lovely thing about black holes is that they started out as a theory on paper. As scientists kept working, black holes were discovered to be real phenomena, and we even have a picture of one. My faith was, at first, a theory on paper. Once I realized the patterns, I could determine the cause of the patterns. The cause was the lack of unwavering faith. When, not if, life got slightly harder, I would cop out.
Imagine a God that walks with you while you are struggling instead of just getting you out. What will you learn? That God is just a tool for cop-outs? I realized these questions when I was hit again and again with misery, but this time, I remained faithful. It was not easy. I lost friends. I was criticized and even banned on Instagram. Instead of giving me an easy way out, or worse, abandoning me, God helped me through it.
I like to think of my math teacher. For context, I hate it when the teachers just give you the answer. I like to be taught how to do the problem step-by-step. Anyways, I had a great algebra teacher in ninth grade. She would not give us the answer until we figured it out. If we were struggling, however, she would not just leave us hanging either. She would walk us through the problem. She cared for every student’s success so much so that she would pull kids after class just to tutor them, regardless of if they were struggling.
God is the same way. Regardless of if you are struggling, He will tutor you. Now, using the patterns of my life, I found the solution in my faith.
