It’s TVs for everyone as the Caf’s institution of technological influence spreads beyond tacos and hamburger soup.
With positive response towards the cafeteria’s recent installment of the flat screen TV from students and faculty alike, the SAC has decided to act accordingly. Northwestern should prepare for an education revolution as monitors seek to improve and enhance NW’s academic prestige.
The money earned from Winter Formal this year will go towards the purchase of brand new, 50-inch flat screen TVs to be installed in the lobby of every campus building and in every classroom, as well as to be given to every student at a location of choice.
In addition to the personalized TVs, all professors will take an extended sabbatical as faculty will be replaced not by Smart Boards and Powerpoint slides, but television broadcasts, thanks to an additional anonymous donor’s generous gift to the college.
The advancements don’t stop with the academic realm, however, as each dorm lobby will be converted into a movie theater with free popcorn and pop available.
While these new installations will indeed increase tuition costs once again, there is no question that they are essential to Northwestern’s purpose of integrating faith and learning into a thorough liberal arts experience.
Students will be able to access Internet, cable and online book sources for ease of study, lecture follow-up and entertainment.
Professor Mansmo, head of the sociology department, is excited about the changes occurring. “I strongly favor replacing faculty with TV’s,” he said. “Students actually learn more about politics and world news through the Daily Show than through traditional print media,” he added.
Mansmo sees the influx of technology on campus as a positive movement, thereby encouraging students and faculty to “embrace this new digital medium.”
“We certainly don’t want students to embrace their current professors,” he said. “We need to channel our resources and click into the digital age,” Mansmo said. No pun intended.
While technology continually advances students’ academic experience with new gadgets and apps, it is apparent NW is striving for a more cultured campus. An increase in TVs will also allow for NW’s “going green” initiatives, as televisions will reduce paper waste and gasoline emissions from commuting professors.
The technological revolution is taking hold of NW for the better. Applications for TV distribution locations are available in the Caf and RSC. For more information on NW’s TV tending, as well as future campus improvements, contact Lord Sofa or the SAC. Any questions, concerns or comments will be ignored until further notice.