Ah yes, the age-old question: “what do women really want? Marriage? Children? Left alone as they walk down the street? A beautiful body? Perhaps a Porsche in the driveway?” Men have pondered this question for centuries, and I am here to tell you that there is a simple answer.
All that women want are pockets.
You heard me correctly, pockets. Pockets in jeans, jackets, dresses, spandex, bras; you name it, it needs pockets. And not just any pockets. The deep, well-supported pockets usually found in men’s clothing. It’s a simple request, and women have made it for years. However, so many articles of clothing fail to include pockets in their designs. What pockets we do have can maybe fit half of our hands, rendering them completely useless to carry anything.
Then you look at men’s pockets. These can fit their wallet, keys and phone easily and comfortably while wearers of women’s clothing need to pack a purse or carry it all in their hands.
I could go on and describe how pockets aren’t included in clothing to aid in sexualizing women’s bodies due to the tightness of clothing not allowing for pockets. I could also describe how the purse industry pressurizes the clothing agency into not including pockets so that they can sell more purses to unsuspecting women. Finally, I could describe the emotional trauma women go through at the hands of evil clothing companies for including fake pockets instead of real ones. I will not do that to you, mostly because I can’t prove it. However, we all know it to be true.
You may argue that this seems to be too insignificant to actually be what women actually want. If you truly do not believe me, test it out for yourself. Take a woman shopping, specifically dress shopping, and you are tasked with picking out dresses for her to try on. Out of all the dresses you find, choose one to have pockets. This may be a challenge, but, believe me, it will pay off. Now, I want you to film her reaction when she comes out wearing the dress with pockets. I can guarantee you that she will be excited to discover the dress has pockets.
Still don’t believe me? Allow me to submit a very personal story about the importance of pockets.
A few weeks ago, I was wedding dress shopping with a few family members and close friends. I am changing in and out of dresses for what seems like hours until I come across a dress with a unique feature. It has pockets! Now, I am unable to say whether or not I bought that dress, mostly because my fiancé is the opinion’s editor (sorry Caleb), but it was definitely a persuasive element that did it’s best to convince me to buy it. I mean, can’t you imagine the convenience of having pockets to hold things in as you’re going about the room saying hi to people. Otherwise, I guess you just have to make the new husband your real-life purse.
All things considered, adding pockets to women’s clothing will do nothing but improve the lives of women everywhere. So, for all you clothing designers out there, give us pockets or give us death.