Fifteen years after the release of “Zoolander,” Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are back to runway walks, Blue Steel and Orange Mocha Frappuccinos with the release of “Zoolander 2.” Sadly, with large shoes to fill, “Zoolander 2” never reached the bar set by its predecessor.
“Zoolander 2” picks up with a recap on what has happened to Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) since the end of “Zoolander.” Derek is dealing with guilt from the death of his wife and the confiscation of his son by child services, while Hansel is out living in the desert with an odd crew. They are both brought together again by the convenient opportunity to model in Rome, but the reason for inviting them turns out to be much more sinister than expected.
With Hansel on a quest to find himself and Derek on a quest to win his son back, they must also face off against with the evil Mugatu (Will Ferrell) and his plan to take back the fashion industry.
I’m going to be frank with you: this movie was not good. The plot was overly complicated, the characters had nearly no development, the talent of big-name stars was wasted on a disappointing script, and nothing original was brought to the table.
First, the plot. Not only is the internal struggle of Derek and Hansel brought to the front of the film, but there’s also the whole mess with Mugatu that has to be dealt with. I’m not going to go into detail about just how ridiculous the plot gets, but I will say it involves capitalizing on the “Adam and Eve…and Steve” joke, an assembly of every major real-life fashion designer around a pit of lava, and ritual sacrifice. Yeah. It’s a mess.
Not only does the plot seem improvised by every person in the film, but the characters are equally as poorly thought out. Derek Zoolander wants to change for his son but remains the same vain, idiotic character throughout. Hansel is on a quest to discover who he is, but at the last minute it turns out that the only thing he really needed to do was discover the identity of his father. Valentina, an Interpol agent played by Penelope Cruz, is overly sexualized and severely stereotyped as the “hot female law enforcement” character. She strikes up a romance with Zoolander that makes almost as much sense as the plot. Surprisingly enough, Zoolander’s son Derek Jr., is the only one aware enough to point out the stupidity of his father and the situations that take place, but unfortunately does the opposite of developing in the end and just joins in on the ridiculousness.
Look guys, just don’t go see this movie. Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, and Kristen Wiig need to know that they are better than this. Not only for our viewings’ sake, but also for their own.